Top Ten, Ten Things

How to Connect with yourself, others, and the world…

1. Understand, respect, and appreciate yourself…

As you are, for all you are. We, by sheer existence alone, are an astronomical anomaly. The probability of us having the genetic code that we have to be exactly as we are in this time and space is unreal. Every aspect about ourselves is unique and should be appreciated as such.

2. Fail…

We must fail in order to grow; without failure we can never truly push ourselves outside of what we know- our comfort zone holds us back; failure is inevitable and should be pursued. That being said- failure is a facade, it like true success, can only ever be self-defined- it’s an image of our inner workings, values, and ideas; we project our expectations and interpretations of the world around us into how we absorb success or failure, but only true immersion in understanding what you value can ever truly fulfill either or. The reality is however awesome or shitty we are how much of it really matters? Can you name the 33rd president? And yet it’s considered one of the greatest achievements in America- certainly that dudes lifetime achievement. In the greater scheme of things, we’re just small particles in the wind, less than a blink of an eye in humanity.

3. Be Curious…

Experience the world, material things fade but experience is forever. Try new things: things that interest you- things that don’t. Understand that everything is someone’s thing- everything around us is created by or is someone’s entire world. Anything you can imagine doing- there’s others out there doing it. Want to play beer pong competitively there’s an international competition; want to eat as many wings in a minute as possible- there’s a venue for that…just get out and go after it!

4. Everyone has a story…

No one wakes up and says I want to look like shit, or I want to treat others like shit…it’s unfortunate but everyone is dealing with things outside of our visibility and however right or wrong they project their inner sentiments onto the rest of the world. The guy who cut you off in traffic- might be racing to the hospital for his kids broken arm…The lady who rudely ignored you in the Starbucks line — was in another dimension thinking about how she might fail out of her college class. Like who knows- and that’s the thing, we’re not meant to know and understand everything, and that’s a good fucking thing.

5. Sonder…

The concept that we are all interconnected in some way- some of us mere background extras in the scene of someone else’s life. That this other human being we disenchantedly pass going through the crosswalk is dealing with everything, and some ways nothing, that we are in our very own lives. We are all we know and yet nothing. Plato or Aristotle once said along the lines that Mans Greatest Significance is that he looks out upon the world in its vastness, realizes his insignificance, and dares to dream anyway. We alone are not that big of a deal. In the end, it’s not what we alone are able to accomplish but what we enable others to; we do nothing alone, and alone we do nothing…

6. Be scared…

know your fears- recognize them and then go after them. Scared of heights? Go skydiving. Scared of public speaking? Sign up for Toastmasters or a class. What I’m getting at is, if we’re not pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone then where are we going? Hint: no where worth going.

7. Volunteer…

Self-explanatory. There’s a billion ways to volunteer: the local school, fire department, food bank, coaching…. You get the idea; if you have a skill or interest there’s an organization that can capitalize on it and benefit the community. Want to connect with the best version of yourself, while simultaneously connecting with others — volunteerism is the way to go about it.

8. Get outside…

There’s empirical data that showcases the astounding benefits of being out there in nature- if dopamine overloads aren’t enough to motivate you along with unbelievable natural beauty, fresh air, and primal intuition then I don’t know what will. Doesn’t have to be a week-long excursion through the gnarliest jagged peaks you can find digging into the perils of self-suffering to benefit — even a leisurely stroll through your neighborhood park the benefits are unreal.

9. Simple Acts of Kindness…

It’s holding the door open, it’s saying hello. It’s being polite- some might say it’s being a good human being. The Theory of Relativity suggests that everything in one way or another is connected so if it helps think of it as a deposit into the Karma Account. They cut you off in traffic. Smile and throw a polite wave and see how that throws them off. It’s hard to punch someone who’s smiling and genuine. A myriad of religious entities would say it’s the golden rule, others a way of life, but at the end I just call it a part of a better life and an easy way to connect with others.

10. Smile.

Smile when it’s great, smile when it’s shitty. Not saying to ignore or repress the span of human emotion but learn to find the moment worth smiling in- it will all pass. As one wise woman once said, there’s no end to all the good a simple smile may do…It’s not just about you man, think of who may need a glimpse of humanity in passing and what your smile could mean to someone. As some might say, embrace the suck, and find something to learn from it- and fucking smile it’s all going to be ok, okay?